The Syndicate for the Wellness of Incentivized Laborers

Here at the Syndicate for the Wellness of Incentivized Laborers, SWIL for short, we value hard work, precision, and just getting the job done. We have developed an effective program of incentives to keep our workers focused and motivated, and we’re seeking a qualified individual to join our industrious team of Wellness Workers!

Your number one responsibility will be the wellness of the workers, all of whom are automatically enrolled in our program. You will have the authority to deal out incentives as often as you see fit, because after all, we want our workers motivated!

There may be times you need to conduct wellness checks to ensure workers are complying with the Incentivized Laborers’ Code of Conduct . Any workers found out of compliance with the Incentivized Laborers’ Code of Conduct are at risk of forfeiting their position in the workforce and being disentitled from the privilege of using Egyptian air.

Here are some examples of behavior that violate the ILCC: stealing, spitting, walking too slow, whistling, singing, dancing, smiling, skipping, digging, lying, telling the truth, aggressive behavior against a wellness worker, blasphemy against Pharaoh, lying down, drinking water outside of designated “hydration stations”, looking at a wellness worker, touching the left ear, or any other behavior whatsoever that qualifies as or could possible be interpreted as “contumacy”. Wellness workers are encouraged met out incentives in response to these illegal activities to motivate compliance. After all, the wellness of our workers is our number two priority!

Qualifications include the ability to wield a whip, and a successful vision exam. Any qualified individuals interested in this position may apply at the office of Sufar Ing-Nopep.